I recently switched my
domain provider for the blog over to GoDaddy and somehow during that switch my
blog unexpectedly disappeared. I immediately called tech support, but then
discovered I had to call my old domain provider and then tons of other stuff happened
too, so long-story-short: the dude who helped me at GoDaddy on Friday morning
is my hero because Call Me Crazy is back! WOO!
During all of this
craziness I realized...
I love blogging.
I love being able to
share my thoughts; whether they're about my love for books or art or even my
adventures of growing up, with others from around the globe. I love the open
discussions that are created and all the different passions for life that can be
shared.
I don't want to keep
feeling that blogging is something I need to feel guilty about or something
that I need to be ashamed of. There's all this bad stigma that's around
blogging, but I guess everything has something 'bad' connected to it while the
'good' stuff is so easily left to be ignored.
I don't want to stop
blogging. I don't care if others don't always understand it. I do and I love it.
One of the many
thoughts I had while trying to fix the 'no blog' problem was, oh man, I want to blog about this. Not only
did I want to blog about what was happening, but about this huge realization I
was having: I love blogging. As simple as it may sound or as obvious as it
should have been to me, it felt like my eyes were opening to something I never
really considered a hobby or had accepted as something that I could proudly
love and put time into without feeling guilty. It honestly shocked me how upset
I got at the idea of not having my own safe place to express myself.
I started blogging when I was sixteen-almost seventeen.
I'll be twenty-one in
March.
That's a long time!
That's a big part of my teen years, a huge part of me growing and exploring the
person I wanted to (still want to) become.
Sure, I blogged mostly
about books and (up until recently) not my personal life, but my voice and
writing has changed so much. Just as a whole, who I am is vastly different from
the teen girl who started Tales of A Teenage
Bookaholic back in March of 2010.
![]() |
Sixteen year old me a few months before I started blogging. |
When I was planning
the new, worst-case-scenario blog I was thinking about how much better it would
be than this one. About how it was going to have posts three times a week,
funny videos, a cool design and a name that I actually liked. (Completely forgetting
about the fact that I 'd still have the same amount of homework and the same
time consuming responsibilities as I do now.) But then the next morning, after
a somewhat good night's sleep, I realized that this is my space, my blog. I put a lot of work into her (you know
something means a lot to you when it earns themselves a pronoun.) I want to
work on her, have her grow as I hope to and take her on this adventure with me.
I have this bad habit
of wanting to fix things.
Recently, it was
pointed out to me that I am always saying I want to 'fix' something about
myself. I constantly think something is horribly wrong with me that it needs
'fixing'. I've been thinking about how I really do use the word 'fix'
frequently when talking about myself and how it's become this negative word for
me.
I'm constantly wanting
to throw something (not usually a literal
thing) away if it doesn't work or I just talk about wanting to change
everything about something in order to somehow make it 'better'. I thought this
only applied to the thoughts I have about myself, but reflecting on previous
plans for this blog, I realized it occurs here too.
I don't want to fix
anymore, I want to improve. I want to accept
and I want to grow from the past.
So here's to taking
out the word fix and replacing it with improve.
Here's to accepting
the past for what it was and taking what you learned with you while you go onto
new, brighter things.
Here's to appreciating
the things that got you to where you are now and learning, as cheesy as this
old saying may sound, to grow from where you are planted.
Aw I love it. That's awesome way to put and a great word. You go girl!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Juju! :)
DeleteThis was just the kind of post I need. Way to put things in perspective. I too love blogging. It has been a little hard lately and I would hate for it to ever feel just like a job. Although life does get crazy and it gets hard to do everything I couldn't imagine not having it either. I also loved what you said about changing the word fix to improve. Great post. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Bianca! I'm so happy to hear you liked it and that it helped!
DeleteI agree, blogging has been a bit hard for me too lately, but like you said I couldn't imagine not having it!
Thank you so much for your comment! :)