*Don't worry, there's NO spoilers for the Delirium trilogy by Lauren Oliver. I just use this trilogy as a reference, you honestly don't even have to know what it is/ is about to read this post!*
As I continued to think about it, I also figured out that I was worried about what would happen. Worried enough that I wanted to leave it with the cliffhanger that Pandemonium,book two, had left me with. I had heard mixed reviews about the ending of our beloved characters' stories and didn't want to read something that would ruin my thoughts of the story as a whole. I didn't want it to mess with this perfect image I had in my mind, a happy ending. The one where the main character ends up with the boy I want for her, the ending that includes a cozy house, an end to rebellion and nothing but bliss.
Then it kind of hit me all at once: Is that really what I want out of a book?
Only the happy parts of life, even if in reality they're hard (if not impossible) to reach. How could I, someone who's slightly cynical, super sarcastic and rolls her eyes at anything even remotely cheesey, only want happy endings?
Maybe it's because I've grown to love the characters and want what I think is best for them, but honestly I don't think books are all suppose to be this untouchable perfect world that has unrealistic endings. I want heartbreak. I want places in a book that leave me shaking my head, rereading lines just to figure out how that one part I just can't seem to kick out of my head happened. How did the author let it happen?
I think I finally came to the obvious conclusion that I don't read just to see characters have that happily ever after. I read to learn something, to live a life that's not mine and maybe sometimes that life is something I'm glad I don't call my own. I read to put myself in other's shoes, to live in a world separate from mine.
Sometimes I put too much trust into an author's decision and direction of their story. I definitely think they'll be times where no matter what anyone says, I won't agree with what happened or I won't like it. Then there's those other times where I'm completely in shock and angry at the author for doing something so cruel, but you have to give them credit, it does stick with you. Well, at least it sticks with me. Maybe it'll teach me something right as a read it or the next time I pick up the book years later when my anger has lighten up.
In an odd way I think that's one of the great things about reading, you really don't have control over what's going to happen, just like in life. No matter how much you want a certain character to live or to just be happy, you can't change what's written on the pages that sit unread. The story's already been decided and I think that's both amazing and kind of terrifying all at once.
I'm over halfway done with Requiem, and I may not understand some of the events happening, or why they're happening, but I'm definitely learning something. I'm relating to Lena and I can feel my eyes opening. It might not be a happily ever after (or it might, like I said, not finished yet) but I want more from a book. Yes I want answers, but I want to be left with questions about things that I thought I already knew the answer to.
My goal is to finish those series that I've neglected to complete all because I was afraid where the plot would go, where the author would lead our characters.
Do you ever neglect to finish a series because you're worried about where the story/ characters will end up?