|My mom and I circa 2007.|
Seeing Josh Turner in concert at the county fair.
She was trying to take a picture with her BlackBerry.
My mind has been going a lot lately.
I move so fast,
so do my thoughts.
I can't concentrate.
I keep trying to start something,
like an art project
a new television show
a blog post-
and I can't sit still
I can't focus.
I thought I'd document my thoughts in a five-minute time period.
My fingers are moving too quickly.
my clumsy fingers are bumping into too many keys at once
I keep misspelling words,
my grammar is off.
I need to keep going...
I'm thinking about this friend I had when I was twelve.
I think he was the only true friend I had.
He listened and so did I.
We wouldn't even have to talk- we could just look at each other
and know what the other was thinking
then bust out laughing.
He was sarcastic,
had a dry-witty personality.
I think I get some of my humor from him.
He got me,
even when I didn't.
I miss him.
He got sick too.
He's here, so close,
There was this time in fourth grade,
we all had these special jobs that the teacher assigned,
I had to bring in the lunch boxes that were in this big laundry basket.
My friends came up and shoved down on it,
I dropped it.
They said I'd be nothing more than a reject
and walked away.
I was nine.
In seventh grade in English class I had to dress up like a cat
all black- pants, turtle neck
tail and ears.
I walked down the hall and the bell just happened to ring,
everyone was staring.
I was the weird girl dressed like a feline.
I think that was the first time anyone ever looked at me.
Remember Lizzie McGuire?
I thought so much that junior high would really be like that,
high school too.
That I'd have cute animal print trapper keepers in neon colors,
best friends I could count on
and a cute boy to crush on.
I knew that problems would happen,
but I'd still be there
with my pigtails in fuzzy pony tail holders
and a Gordo waiting at my door.
It never stops.
I'm so tired.